i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
