Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
