Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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