I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
