I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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