you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
