ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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