I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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