So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
