I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
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He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
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My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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