dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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