alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
