this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
