Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
