Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
