Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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