i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
