you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
