Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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