Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I need a beard to bite.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
