Apparently you make a good broom.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
