So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
