College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
