Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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