Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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