her vagine was all disorganized.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
