YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
