dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
handjob tips. give me some.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
