remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
