Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
