You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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