You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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