i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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