sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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