i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
