i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
