she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
