is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
