$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
