I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize