Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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