Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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