We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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