I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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