I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
