you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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