i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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