It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
