I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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