someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize