I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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