No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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