Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Mom said you looked used
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
