my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
True strength comes from lack of pants
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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