I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
