Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
sarcasm needs its own font
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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