Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
