it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
