Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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