Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think i have herpe
just one?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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