He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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