I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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