what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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