"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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