drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
